Existentialist Couch Potato

When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

It's not the pace of life that concerns me. It's the sudden stop at the end. ~ Miller.

After dropping the kids back at Monkey-Central last night, I curled up on my thinking chair with some Chinese tacos and flipped through the offerings of my local Time-Warner cable monopoly. I stopped flipping around when I heard the familiar sounds of Richard Strauss's Also sprach Zarathustra ("Thus Spoke Zarathustra" in English), which has become inextricably associated with 2001: A Space Odyssey. Actually, it was the sequel (2010: The Year We Make Contact) that was on last night, but I've only seen it a couple of dozen times or so, so I let it run on.

I've always loved this piece of music (I even own a copy), it often makes me think of Friedrich Nietzsche - that favorite philosopher of overwrought teenagers - as it is also the title of one of his middle-period works, Thus Spake Zarathustra, A Book for All and None (1883 - 1885), which became Nietzsche's best-known book and the one he considered the most important. It famously declares that "God is dead", elaborates on Nietzsche's conception of the will to power, and serves as an introduction to his doctrine of eternal return.

The book is sort of a free-wheeling narrative featuring the character of Zarathustra (referring to the traditional prophet of Zoroastrianism) who knocks around making speeches, making a nuisance of himself and generally being misunderstood. It comprises a philosophical work of fiction whose style often lightheartedly imitates that of the New Testament and of the Platonic dialogues, and uses natural phenomena as rhetorical and explanatory devices. It is ambiguous and paradoxical which has helped popularize it amongst the reading public, but has frustrated academic attempts at analysis (as Nietzsche may have intended).

Zoroastrianism is the religion and philosophy based on the teachings ascribed to the prophet Zoroaster (circa 6000 BCE) of what is present day Iran. Mazdaism is the religion that acknowledges the divine authority of Ahura Mazda, proclaimed by Zoroaster to be the one uncreated Creator of all (God). Some scholars have suggested that Zoroastrianism was where the first prophet of a monotheistic faith arose, claiming Zoroastrianism as being the oldest of the revealed credal religions, predating Judea-Christian monotheism by as much as 2000 years, and which has probably influenced mankind (directly or indirectly), more than any other faith. Consider the fact that Zoroastrians were referred to as “Magi” by the time of Christ. Once the dominant religion of much of Greater Iran, as of 2007 Zoroastrianism has dwindled to small numbers; some sources suggest that it is practiced by fewer than 200,000 worldwide, with its largest centers in India and Iran. The basic principles of Zoroastrianism are pretty benign - you just have to get past all the funky foreign sounding proper nouns. These beliefs are:

1. There is one universal and transcendental God, Ahura Mazda, the one
uncreated Creator, to whom all worship is ultimately directed.

2. Ahura Mazda's creation - evident as asha, truth and order - is the antithesis of chaos, evident as druj, falsehood and disorder. The resulting conflict involves the entire universe, including humanity, which has an active role to play in the conflict (see #3 below).

3. Active participation in life through good thoughts, good words and good
deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep the chaos at bay. This active
participation is a central element in Zoroaster's concept of free will, and Zoroastrianism rejects all forms of monasticism.

4. Ahura Mazda will ultimately prevail, at which point the universe will undergo a cosmic renovation and time will end (Zoroastrian eschatology). In the final renovation, all of creation - even the souls of the dead that were initially banished to "darkness" - will be (re)united in God.

5. In Zoroastrian tradition, the malevolent is represented by Angra Mainyu, the "Destructive Principle", while the benevolent is represented through Ahura Mazda's Spenta Mainyu, the instrument or "Bounteous Principle" of the act of creation. It is through Spenta Mainyu that Ahura Mazda is eminent in humankind, and through which the Creator interacts with the world. According to Zoroastrian cosmology, in articulating the Ahuna Vairya formula, Ahura Mazda made his ultimate triumph evident to Angra Mainyu.

6. As expressions and aspects of Creation, Ahura Mazda emanated seven "sparks", the Amesha Spentas, "Bounteous Immortals" that are each the hypostasis and representative of one aspect of that Creation. These Amesha Spenta are in turn assisted by a league of lesser principles, the Yazatas, each "Worthy of Worship" and each again a hypostasis of a moral or physical aspect of Creation (basically a bunch of angels to help with more mundane matters, such as finding a good parking spot, etc.

Doesn't sound too far-fetched, does it now?

Two Years

It seems at once both incredibly inconsequential and mindbogglingly momentous - if anything this second year has been one of far vaster personal change and growth than the first.

I'm told that the first year is mostly about the physical - getting healthy, that the second year is one of mental/spiritual healing, and that the third year is when financial matters are finally put in order (and dentistry). These simple truths would seem to have been borne out in my case.

I am at peace with my surroundings and my life; am profoundly grateful for the amazing abundance that I enjoy; am overwhelmingly optimistic about my prospects for the future; and am beginning to be able to wield the powers of mind, body and spirit with which I was bestowed. Pretty cool huh?

A Yaqui Way of Knowledge

I finally went out last Thursday and bought a book that I've been meaning to read and study for a while now - Barnes and Noble actually had it! I've been trying to understand and learn more about animism which was once the "religion" that was practiced by all of humanity. Christian missionaries encountered it wherever they went and quite effectively stamped it out, to the point that today it survives only amongst the few aboriginal peoples left on Earth. I put the word "religion" in quotes because animism is really as much or more of a world-view than a religion. It has no universal rules or dogma, no codified beliefs, no universal rituals, no wars have ever been fought over it - in its simplest form it is merely the belief that the world is a sacred place and that humanity (which is also sacred, but no more or less so than anything else in the world) belongs in this place.

In my study of animism, and through it shamanism, I have continually encountered references to the works of Carlos Castaneda who was a Peruvian born American author. He wrote a series of books that describe his training in traditional Mesoamerican shamanism, which he referred to as a form of sorcery. The books and Castaneda, who rarely spoke in public about his work, have been controversial for many years. In his books, Castaneda narrates in first person the events leading to and ensuing after his meeting a Yaqui shaman named don Juan Matus in 1960. Castaneda's experiences with don Juan inspired the works for which he is known. He claimed to have inherited from don Juan, through a long apprenticeship, the position of nagual, or leader of a party of seers. He also used the term "nagual" to signify that part of perception which is in the realm of the unknown yet still reachable by man, implying that, for his party of seers, don Juan was a connection in some way to that unknown. Castaneda often referred to this unknown realm as nonordinary reality, which indicated that this realm was indeed a reality, but radically different from the ordinary reality experienced by human beings. Nagual has been used by anthropologists to mean a shaman or sorcerer who is capable of shape-shifting into an animal form, and/or, metaphorically, to "shift" into another form through Toltec magic rituals and shamanism.

Castaneda approached the work as an anthropologist (as he was - from UCLA), but realized while in the process of collecting data that this approach would not work, thus he assumes the role of an ethnographer and a student. He has a marvelous ear and his sparse but gritty descriptions allow the reader to place himself on the dirt floor of don Juan's front porch at twilight when the crack between worlds takes place. So far, the book (The Teachings of Don Juan, A Yaqui Way of Knowledge) has been everything that I hoped it would be, offering valuable insights into what it means to learn and grow and experience what it is to be human. For example, on the subject of learning, don Juan says, "A man goes to knowledge as he goes to war, wide-awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance. Going to knowledge or going to war in any other manner is a mistake, and whoever makes it will live to regret his steps. Man lives only to learn. And if he learns it is because that is the nature of his lot, for good or bad." In order to best do this don Juan says, "You have to be a strong man, and your life has to be truthful." When Castaneda asks don Juan what a truthful life is, he replies: "A life lived with deliberateness, a good, strong life."

Sage advice, in my humble opinion, but today the passage that is still resonating within me, and that I will ponder for some time, is the following:

"Anything is one of a million paths (un camino entre cantidades de caminos). Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what you heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that only a very old man asks: Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you."

I have stopped reading for a while, until I think that I have absorbed this lesson, and that may take some time. Already it is clear to me that portions of the path I walk are not deliberate - that not choosing is in fact a choice. The complexity of life and the nearly infinite number of choices that I make every day makes discerning the true nature of the path I am on very difficult. For now I will simply practice being more deliberate and listening to my heart.

Summer Monkeyshines

Well, it has taken me a while to get around to posting this entry, but I enjoyed another great visit with the kids the weekend before last. Rather than writing a long commentary, I thought that I'd just sort of caption the photos and let y'all enjoy them on your own.

Here we enjoy some playground action before going to the Sensory Gym on Saturday.













On our way to the park Saturday afternoon (to run through the sprinklers) we ran across a bluegrass band on 3rd Avenue, in the middle of Brooklyn (imagine that). They played The Wheels on the Bus, some Beetles' tunes and a whole bunch of bluegrass standards, and entertained us for quite some time. We even got to keep a couple of balloons!
















We ran through the sprinklers.
















While we were at the Shore Road park, we ran across some clown selling big funky-looking balloons, so we bought a couple.













We relaxed and played with our Hotwheels.
























Miranda and I had a game of catch with the Earth ball, until she decided it was time to take the tractor out for a ride.












On Sunday we went to the McKinley Park to watch some softball and play in the park - of course there were sprinklers there too and we couldn't resist even though we weren't in our swim suits.























We finished our park trifecta at the park at Fort Hamilton High School, Sunday afternoon after lunch. Miranda (dressed in Zach's spare shirt - everything else was wet by this point) had fun jumping on the brass chimes on the playground.
















Zach just wanted to swing and swing some more, and eventually Miranda got into the action.
















Y'all come back now for the continuing saga of Monkeyshines.

Food for Thought

The 4th of July is a uniquely American holiday. On this day each year millions of my countrymen slaughter, roast and consume helpless animals, get really pissed drunk, then play with explosives - it is a practice that is as incredibly unwise as it is quintessentially American. It seems to be a holiday devoted to excess, even more so than Conspicuous Consumption Day (a.k.a. the holiday formerly known as Christmas). Nothing could possibly illustrate what it means to be an American better than the annual grotesqueness that takes place each year here in Brooklyn: the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest in Coney Island - let me quote from this morning's Newsday:

Downing an average of one Nathan's hot dog every 11 seconds to win the most coveted prize in competitive eating, Joey Chestnut set a world record yesterday when he out-ate - by a mere three wieners - the legendary Takeru Kobayashi, the six-time Coney Island champion.

"It's the Fourth of July and I wanted to bring the title back to America," said the new champ, whose manic mastication of 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes was about 12 more than Kobayashi's total last year.

Consider the fact that each individual Nathan's hot dog (they are raw for the contest) contains 309 calories, 20.14g of fat, 684mg of sodium and 35.43mg of cholesterol. Now let's do some math - that is 20,394 calories, 1329.24g (roughly three pounds) of fat, 45144mg of sodium and 2338.38mg of cholesterol. According to U.N. data, the average Ethiopian consumes about 1600 calories per capita per day, thus Joey Chestnut ate what an average Ethiopian would consume over thirteen days, in a mere twelve minutes. Moreover, he did it not because he was hungry but out of some masochistic need to compete in a binge eating contest.

Perhaps competitive I.V. drug use is next? - I'm sure we would have no trouble finding a sponsor amongst the Big Pharma companies. Maybe next 4th of July we'll be treated to the GlaxoSmithKline Dose-Off, featuring two heavily track-marked heroin addicts standing in front of trays of syringes (only underneath the boardwalk, not on it).

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. ~ Mark Twain

It is not that I'm anti-American, I'm merely pro-human and I find nationalism to be incredibly passe, believing that it is just a pastel-shade of fascism. So I did what I usually do on days like this - I sat it out, opting to watch Michael Moore's Sicko instead - God bless America!

Good Mojo

Did you ever experience a period of time when things just seemed to be falling into place? I am in the midst of one such period - this is a very good thing and is the result of much hard work. However (there's always a "but" isn't there?), I've been ruminating on how these periods are defined. There is always a beginning and an end that are the opposites of, and which define, the period in between as either positive or negative, good or bad. The same old-same old, gray or so-so periods in this case are often unremarkable and are seldom noticed by me, even though they make up the bulk of life. Thus, a run of good luck begins with the cessation of bad luck and continues until an instance of bad luck occurs again. This may sound like I'm waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop, but this is not the case at all.

This is mainly due to the fact that I've been thinking about it all in terms of Karma and, to a large extent, I believe that we make our own Karma, reaping that which we sow. This is the real beauty of simply putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing - it is a recipe for good Karma. The trick seems to be to keep on-keeping on. Sure I can stop and enjoy the mojo, but I know I need to keep sowing the right seeds if I want more of what I'm getting now. Just thought I'd share that with you - peace, love and special sauce.
P.S. as an added bonus, I get to see my two beautiful children tonight from 6 - 8!

Graduation Monkeyshines

Last Thursday, Zach "graduated" from preschool and the William O'Conner School had a ceremony to comemerate the occasion. We all showed up at St. Patrick's Auditorium in Bay Ridge at 10:30 and were treated to quite a show. There were about 200 people in attendance and another 150 students and staff, so it was quite a full house.

It was a very cute affair though somewhat quirky - let me elaborate: Many of the kids that go to this school are on the autism spectrum and have the corresponding issues. Thus, when they were marching the kids in and Pomp and Circumstance started blaring over the PA system, many of the kids started clutching there ears and looking about to find the source of the offending racket.

Getting a bunch of special needs kids to do a coordinated show is a lot like trying to herd cats - and I give the staff great credit for not only trying, but actually succeding in pulling it off. Zach's class did "The Stick Song" and each kid had two wooden sticks that they tapped and banged in accordance to the words in the song. Zachy did pretty well, but seemed to lose interest about half way through the song, at which time he put his sticks down and covered his ears. You could tell that it was well rehearsed, however, as he and the other kids knew the song and were able to anticipate the lines and manipulate the sticks accordingly.

Miranda came suitably attired and was a bouncy joy to sit with. She watched her Zachy do his song from Daddy's shoulders and clapped along with everyone else.

We were also treated to "The Potatoe Song," "The Monkey Song," and a host of other fine selections. The proceedings wound up with a long slide show of all of the kids in the school set to music, followed by cake and soda. After the show we were reunited with our Zachy who seemed quite happy to see us and equally ready to go.

Father's Day Monkeyshines

Well, if I don't get this done today, I'll have had another visit before telling you all ("y'all" to the Carolina contingent) about the previous one. So, in the interest of expediency, this ain't gonna be pretty but it'll have to do.

The first thing that I must mention are the beautiful Father's Day art projects that Zachy made for me at school (pictured above). I'm not quite sure what to call the popsicle stick and seashell creation (lots of glitter of course) but it's definitely a keeper!















The second thing that I must mention also concerns Zachy (Miss Miranda was charming, sweet, beautiful and funny as ever - don't worry pumpkin, your turn is coming). We went to the park by Zach's school Saturday morning because the kids got up very early and wanted to go out long before it was time to leave for the Sensory Gym. When we got there, Zach took off and went straight to the big kids' side of the playground and got on a big boy's swing. The last time he tried this without an adult, he fell off backwards and banged his head on the rubber mat. This time he got on by himself, held on to the chains the whole time and was able to actually swing by leaning into it. It was amazing! This time I got pictures to prove it (above).

We also were sporting a new set of wheels this weekend - a new double stroller, well actually it's sort of a single stroller with a rumble seat in the back where Zachy can either sit or stand. They both seem to like it very much and it certainly is an improvement over the side-by-side that was bio-degrading as we strolled - check it out! (above)

The rest of the weekend was really fun, but not that much different than many of our weekends - we spent a lot of time at various parks, ran through the sprinklers, went for a bunch of long walks, had our quiet time, our art time, our music time, watched a lot of Thomas the Train, played with our toys, and cuddled etc.

I won't bore you with all of the little things, but I will mention that Miss Miranda likes to pick the clovers that grow (in abundance) in the front lawn of my building and sometimes we sit outside and make clover jewelry. When I was sweeping up the apartment after dropping the kids back at Monkey Central this Sunday evening, I kept finding piles of partially dismembered clovers and realized that my little one has been smuggling them in and hiding them. I'm in the process of finding a suitable clover repository so that my little clover smuggler can go legit and keep her ill-gotten booty.





















Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Tune in again for more Monkeyshines.