What To Do?

I started off my morning today the way I often do – by reviewing my list of things to do and updating it. Yes, the ubiquitous “To Do list" is very much a part of my life and I’ve been spending some time today considering whether or not this is a good thing. It is a habit that I developed as a young adult – not on purpose, mind you – I was gently nudged, nagged and badgered into the practice by my parents.

It started when I was in high school and centered on the homework issue, or apparent lack thereof. I used to have a pretty good (if rather selective) memory, and used to rely on it exclusively to keep track of important assignments, or so I maintained. In actuality, I did not like doing homework and saw writing it down on a list as creating evidence to be used against me – not good mojo or good policy.

Eventually, I capitulated and waxed reactionary: I would sit down to do my work and spend hours preparing a list that broke the tasks that I must perform into such extensive and exhaustive detail as to be completely absurd. This was the point of the exercise of course - kind of like holding a focus group on forming a committee to organize a planning meeting to plan a meeting for the purpose of making strategic plans. It happens all the time and nothing ever really gets done, although sometimes a lunch menu is selected.

It was a learning experience, however, and at least I learned how to write a great outline in the process of the procrastination of innumerable college term papers. I once even wrote a forty page outline for a term paper on Freud's The Question of Lay Analysis: Conversation with an Impartial Person – ironic huh? I suppose I was repressing after all. Eventually “the list” became a habit, and to this day even a quick search of my wallet will usually yield one or two of them.

I can’t say that I use “the list” as a way to remember things, as I seem to have a problem remembering to check my list on a regular basis. It is more of a way for me to organize my thoughts and priorities and it serves me as a sort of poor man’s data bank. “The list” also functions as a type of daily barometer – the best day being one at the end of which I have crossed the most items off. In a semi-subconscious effort to skew this, I add items to my list that I can’t help but accomplish: “wake up,” “eat lunch” and “breathe regularly” often appear.

There is a certain satisfaction to crossing something off of “the list” – at least for me – and I suspect some of y’all will identify with this feeling. This morning one of the items on my list read, “write something to post on blog,” and this rumination surely qualifies as “something,” so there you have it. Mission accomplished! Now if I can only remember where I put that damned list…