Monkeyshines And Other Miscellany

First the bad news: I failed to plan ahead and pick up a disposable camera for this past weekend so there will be no yummy pictures of the kids to accompany this post. The good news is that no "must-capture" Kodak moments really happened anyway - well actually I'm not sure whether that is good news or not but, as they say, there it is.

The best news is that I had a very nice weekend with my two beautiful children. We just did the usual stuff - a couple of trips to the park and some walks. It was brutally hot and humid over the weekend, so we spent a bit more time indoors than usual, but that allowed for a lot of snuggles and quality time. Zach did a great job of using the potty and only had one accident over the whole weekend - Daddy was very proud of him. Miranda made some amazing artwork and has been more willing to explore mixed media. All in all - a really nice weekend! I'll make sure to grab a camera before the next time.

In other news... I attended the second sponsorship training session at Ameriprise on Monday evening. It's kind of surreal hearing the inside of how certain things get done in the business world. I also feel like kind of an impostor, since I have no real intention of taking that job. I'm just trying to capture at least one positive bit of... something... each session that I can take with me. So far so good. I'm starting to realize just how vast and diverse the world of finance really is - it amazes me that we humans have created such intricate machinations to replace the barter system and the tribal laws and norms that once served our ancestors so well. Is it really progress? I wonder.

Next Tuesday (the 4th) I start my classes for the Series 7 exam - this shit's for real, yo! I'll be taking them somewhere in the financial district(I find out on Friday) on Tuesday and Thursday nights through the month of September and will be taking the big exam on September 29th - wish me luck. After that I launch right into the Series 66 stuff, which I should complete sometime in mid October and then it is time to make the big move - at least my commute will be significantly shorter. This month will also bear witness to more court stuff between the kids' mother and I - which should be... fun? Or not. At least I'll be able to buy the T-shirt. Last but not least is Jon's wedding (and Allison's too) on the 22nd which I am very much looking forward to. It will be good to get out of New York and see some friendly faces.

So this week is the proverbial calm before the storm. Amongst all the hubbub, it's easy to forget that I work for a living, and of course I am plowing through all the paperwork and minutiae that has been piling up for the past month. I don't have to teach this week or next, so at least I have some time for reflection and inner maintenance - you know, practicing the ways of the Force and all that Jedi stuff. Oh yeah, and watching documentaries over the internet too:)

Peaceandlove, and may the Force be with you.

Updates Completed

This just in: the image updates for the last several entries are complete - please enjoy them responsibly.

What Fakesteve Would Say:

So like, OK. So I finally get a seat this morning on the N-train. I let the first two moron-packed lemming carts go by, which turned out to be a righteous move because I actually got a seat on the third, and I'm sitting there just starting to get my Zen on, and then it starts. First this fookin guy sits down next to me and has his mp3 player on 11 with the earbuds draped around his neck - you know the type - so that the entire world can hear what God-awful taste in muzak he has. I keep it together, though. One with the universe...and all that. Then this other guy shows up like a bounced check, stands right in front of me and starts acting like MC douchebag, blasting the hip-hop he's downloaded onto his cellphone - ooh, you're sooo not clever, yo. I mean, jeeez! Those tiny little speakers can make Bach sound like a bunch of meth-addicted roaches playing in a crappy metal garage band. And here's a tip for you kids - a bad attitude plus a thesaurus don't add up to music. And to top it off, the frigtard is doing the head-bobbing thaaang like he's just invented the whole concept. Perfect.

So there I am with the iTard to the left of me and MC Phone dovening like a Hassid with his crotch in my face and, incredibly, I'm still holding it together. One with the universe, one with my fellow man... ohm...and so on. But these guys are really starting to totally harsh on my feng shui. The kicker came when a boatload of Chinese women got on the train and started screaming at each other - it's their version of polite conversation, but it sounds like cats humping concertina wire - can't they use their indoor voices? Ever? For fook's sake, shouldn't you people be back in the old country figuring out new and creative ways to put lead in my kids' toys!

At this point I'm already losing my center and my chakra's are getting all out of whack or alignment or whatever, when (ironically) a couple of Indians (dots, not feathers) get on and a cloud of curry / BO laden funk gets on with them. And that's it!

I know what you're probably thinking, but I'm a changed man. The only kung-fu that I threw around was the "accidental" elbow to MC Phone's man-package as I vacated that 29th level of Hell. I need a hot mud bath, a cucumber wrap then some tasty time in the sensory dep. tank, but as far as the MTA goes I’m riding my bike in tomorrow - siooma-baby! Siooma!

And So It Begins...

Tonight I begin the process of preparation for the series 66 and series 7 exams, which will allow me to buy sell and trade mutual funds, stocks, bonds and some other things (not commodities) that I'm not really sure about yet. I will also have to take and pass the tests for the various insurance licenses that come into play in financial planning. The Ameriprise office is diagonally across the street from the Chrysler building (right where that steam pipe blew up a few weeks back) close to Grand Central Terminal, and I have to show up at 5:30 to finish the NASD registration then work out a study calendar with the training manager.

I bought a shiny new notebook for the occasion on my lunch hour, so I got that going for me...which is nice... (sorry, I just love Carl the greens-keeper). I'm not sure what to expect, so I'm doing a pretty good job of just plain-old not expecting anything, but I find that I'm a little nervous, as it has been a long time since I was a student. This process should take me until some time in November to complete, at which time I will take stock (pun intended) and see which employment option is best for me.

The First Date

It is absolutely labyrinthine - at least I find it so - trying to capture the veritable torrent of thoughts, of feelings, of sensations associated with, and deriving from, that most transient of life experiences: the "first date" - it is completely abstruse. My poor attempt to understand it is akin to peeling back the diaphanous layers of the psychic onion only to find no tangible core of substance beneath, being left to divine meaning from the shredded scraps of countervailing emotions.

It is like trying to snatch smoke out of the air with your fingers. It is thrilling, it is baffling, it is terrifying, it is the feeling that comes at the last ratcheting of the chain that hauls the roller coaster up the lift hill - the deep breath before the plunge. It is a repeating phantasmagoria of affection, anxiety, elation, dread, and then affection again. It is a very potent brew of most of those things that make life worth living - it is habit forming and highly addictive; one should not operate heavy machinery while under its influence. In fact the best I can do to describe this "rush" is to characterize it as feeling ever so intensely alive. It has been a very long time - decades in fact - and I'm profoundly grateful to have experienced it fully for a second time.

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, religion, and dating."
~ Scott Adams

This date took place at the Museum of Modern Art on what turned out to be the most beautiful Saturday afternoon of the year, thus far. We strolled around taking in as much as we could, particularly enjoying the vast array of sculpture, and stayed until we were invited to leave at the museum's closing time. It was perfect - exploring a truly beautiful environment with a truly beautiful companion - an all you can eat smorgasbord for the senses. Afterwards, we wandered across town and found a cute little Mexican place in Hell's Kitchen for some dinner. The food was only OK, but the conversation was really nice. We got to know each other a little better, laughed a lot and made plans for future outings together. Hooray!

Anticipation

Anticipation is an emotion or feeling involving pleasure (excitement) and sometimes anxiety (worry) in considering some expected or longed-for positive event, or irritation at having to wait for said event. When I catch myself in the act and begin to ponder anticipation I naturally think of Carly Simon and ketchup - of course! In an NPR interview, Carly said she wrote the song (called Anticipation) about Cat Stevens while waiting for him to pick her up for their first date. The song was made famous by the Heinz Ketchup commercials of the late 70's, in which people were shown waiting for the ketchup to pour while the chorus of the song played in the background. Because of this, many people still refer to the song as "the ketchup song."

So is anticipation an emotion or a feeling? Is there a difference? Does it really matter? Probably not. Emotion/feelings encompasses a vast spectrum of possible responses to various stimuli. Psychologists have attempted to offer general classifications of these responses and, as with the color spectrum, systematically distinguishing between them largely depends on the level of precision desired. One of the most influential classification approaches is Robert Plutchik's psychoevolutionary theory of emotion. He considered there to be eight primary emotions: anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, curiosity, acceptance and joy. Plutchik proposed that these "basic" emotions are biologically primitive and have evolved in order for the species to survive. Plutchik argued for the primacy of these emotions by showing each to be the trigger of behavior with a high survival value (e.g. fear: fight-or-flight response).

Plutchik linked anticipation to these eight basic emotions which, as in the color spectrum, can combine in various degrees to yield the vast array of secondary emotions which Plutchik called feelings, and thus would seem to classify anticipation as a feeling. It (anticipation) can be shown in many ways; for example, some people seem to smile uncontrollably during this period, while others seem ill or sick. It is not uncommon for the brain to be so focused on an event, that the body is affected in such a way. Of course this brings me back to me - it's all about me, right?

I am experiencing anticipation - the good kind - and I find that I like it, but it is not easy. I find myself remembering Christmas Eves as a small child, and the sleepless hours spent in anticipation of Santa's bounty. Susie and I would build elaborate structures with Lego's for hours, starting at two or three in the morning, having given up all pretense of sleep. It was our attempt to defy the laws of physics and make time pass more quickly, but was always doomed by the "watched pot" phenomenon. We were trying not to loose our minds at the thought of what lay a story below us beneath the carefully decorated tree - did Santa bring the chemistry set? Am I getting the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip? I really want that G.I. Joe! - I was good all year... well,... most of the year... well,...pretty good, mostly. I need that G.I. Joe! What time is it now? Damn! It's only been five minutes since the last time I looked...pass me another bucket of Lego's.

Aunt and Uncle Monkeyshines

All in all, this week's episode of Monkeyshines was generally a mellow one, with the exception of a special guest appearance by Aunt Leslie and Uncle Warren - but we'll get to that in a minute. The first thing we did was marvel at the beautiful pottery that we had created in our last episode of Monkeyshines (pictured). Miranda's plate adorns the kids' play table and the car-shaped piggy bank that Daddy and Zach made has a place of honor on our bookshelf in the living room.

The weather this weekend was just amazing - hot in the sun, cool in the shade, low humidity, incredibly blue sky - amazing! And, because of this, we spent most of the weekend either outside or inside taking naps, which when you think about it is not a bad way to live.

We did the usual Sensory Gym thing Saturday morning and while Zach was doing that Miranda and Daddy went to Daddy's "cookie meeting." Our big friend Mr. Rich asked Daddy to read the group's secretary notes so Miranda helped out by standing on the table in the front of the room (with Daddy's arm around her waist) in front of a hundred people, smiling and clapping and waving a small baseball bat that serves as the group's gavel (wielding it at Daddy's head) and generally enjoying being the center of attention, while Daddy read the notes. She was soooo incredibly cute and charming!

We did our usual park tour on Saturday afternoon then went back to Daddy's house for a nice long nap. After some food, we went back out for a long walk, stopping at playgrounds and horsey-rides, and gumball machines all along the way. Because of the naps, both children were up very late - Zach especially, who was up until midnight.

Not surprisingly, we all slept late Sunday morning, then had a nice breakfast together. We did a little cleanup work to get ready for our guests who arrived by cab: Aunt Leslie and Uncle Warren of the Carolina Millers! We all had a great time playing basketball, showing off our mouse, making PlayDo alligators, etc. It was a short but vigorous visit, and a good time was had by all. We Brooklyn Millers really appreciated the effort that Warren and Leslie went to to make the visit happen - Thanks Guys!

One note: during the visit, I asked whether Zach was bigger or smaller than his cousin Alexis and Warren said that he thought Zach was bigger and said that Alexis weighed about 40lbs and asked what Zach weighs. Daddy had no clue so in the process of giving the bumble-bee a piggy back ride, Daddy stood on the scale with the bumble on his back. Together we weighed 222lbs, but when Daddy weighed himself right afterwards, he only weighed 167lbs. We did the math and reckoned that we had a 55lb bumble-bee on our hands - that's one BIG Bumble!


All good things must come to an end and eventually the Carolinians had to depart. We saw them off into a car-service Town Car and headed out on our own. We decided to explore parts of the promenade that we had never explored and found some really cool wild and shady places. Miranda is very into bugs and pointed excitedly whenever she saw one, exclaiming "there's a bug! A buggy BUG!" They are also both very excited by butterflies and we saw plenty of them as well.

It hardly seemed as though we had started our weekend of joy before it came to an end, but in an effort to squeeze out just a little more fun, we hit the Fort Hamilton High School park on our way back to Monkey-Central and did some swinging and sprinkler running. It was two very wet but happy monkeys that Daddy returned to Mommy at 5pm Sunday night. We said our farewells and exchanged big kisses to hold us over until our next installment of Monkeyshines.

Yes!

Phewww! At least that's over with - and the answer was yes!

An F2!!!

Of all the crazy things I thought I'd never see, this one was too far-fetched to even make the list. An F2 tornado struck Bay Ridge, Brooklyn (and only Bay Ridge) yesterday morning - just in time for the morning commute. Needless to say that my commute never happened because the subways were under water and there were no U-boats available, but I enjoyed a day off courtesy of Mother Nature. I took a bike ride in the afternoon to survey the damage and it was pretty amazing. Sadly, we lost a lot of great old trees, but at least nobody was hurt. Amazing huh? here is the newspaper clipping:

Tornado strikes New York borough of Brooklyn

By Andy Newman

Thursday, August 9, 2007

NEW YORK: It took experts a while to confirm what many in southwestern Brooklyn knew had descended on their neighborhoods as a new workday dawned. It was a tornado - the first to hit the New York borough since modern record-keeping began - and it turned whole sections of Brooklyn upside down.

Roofs were torn off houses. More than 30 families were forced from their homes. Tall trees as thick as men were yanked out by the roots.

No one was seriously injured, but cars were turned sideways, awnings and aluminum siding shredded, and countless windows and windshields shattered, in a destructive rain of bricks and branches and water Wednesday.

Lanie Mastellone was drinking her coffee about 7 a.m. in her apartment on the top floor of her two-story house when she sensed that her windows were going to blow in. She went toward the front of the house, and as she passed from one room to another the ceilings collapsed.

"I passed my living room, I passed my dining room, I go to the bedroom," Mastellone said. "They were going one at a time. It was coming from the back forward."

Mastellone, a widow who lives alone, was more puzzled than terrified. "It was almost unemotional," she said. "I was still thinking, 'Maybe my roof is leaking?' I think denial is a wonderful thing sometimes."

Still, she knew she had to get out. "I grabbed my wedding ring and my cellphone," she said. She opened her apartment door, stepped out into the hallway and looked up. "That's when I realized I had no roof," she said.

She was not the only one. Two houses away, the roof looked as if it had exploded. Most of it was lying in the street.

Meanwhile, three inches, or 7.5 centimeters, of rain in three hours brought the New York transit system to its knees, The Associated Press reported. Subway tracks were swamped, buses jammed and commuter trains held up for hours because of flooding Wednesday. Much of the mess had been mopped up by early Thursday, but the region faced the possibility of more storms within a day.

The U.S. National Weather Service declared the storm in Brooklyn a Category 2 tornado on the Enhanced Fujita scale, with winds up to 135 miles per hour, or 215 kilometers per hour. It was the first tornado recorded in Brooklyn since record-keeping began in 1950, said Jeffrey Warner, a meteorologist at Pennsylvania State University.

More Poetry

I was working through this poem today with my class and thought it would be a good thing to share:









In Response to a Rumor That the Oldest Whorehouse in Wheeling, West Virginia Has Been Condemned, by James Wright

I will grieve alone,
As I strolled alone, years ago, down along
The Ohio shore.
I hid in the hobo jungle weeds
Upstream from the sewer main,
Pondering, gazing.

I saw, down river,
At Twenty-third and Water Streets
By the vinegar works,
The doors open in early evening.
Swinging their purses, the women
Poured down the long street to the river
And into the river.

I do not know how it was
They could drown every evening.
What time near dawn did they climb up the other shore,
Drying their wings?

For the river at Wheeling, West Virginia,
Has only two shores:
The one in hell, the other
In Bridgeport, Ohio

And nobody would commit suicide, only
To find beyond death
Bridgeport, Ohio

Newsmap

Here is an interesting application/website that I came across:

Newsmap is an application that visually reflects the constantly changing landscape of the Google News news aggregator. A treemap visualization algorithm helps display the enormous amount of information gathered by the aggregator. Treemaps are traditionally space-constrained visualizations of information. Newsmap's objective takes that goal a step further and provides a tool to divide information into quickly recognizable bands which, when presented together, reveal underlying patterns in news reporting across cultures and within news segments in constant change around the globe.
Newsmap does not pretend to replace the googlenews aggregator. Its objective is to simply demonstrate visually the relationships between data and the unseen patterns in news media. It is not thought to display an unbiased view of the news; on the contrary, it is thought to ironically accentuate the bias of it.
I thought this was really cool, so I thought I'd share - here's the link:

Newsmap